The Story That Will Make Sense of Your Struggle, And Awaken Your Soul Memory
Maybe you’ve felt it.
That quiet unease that creeps in during still moments.
The heaviness that no amount of success, busyness, or distraction can fully shake.
It’s as if something in your life has already ended… but no one told you.
Maybe you’ve felt it.
That quiet unease that creeps in during still moments. The heaviness that no amount of success, busyness, or distraction can fully shake. It’s as if something in your life has already ended… but no one told you.
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On the surface, everything looks fine.
You’ve played the roles. Met the expectations. Built the life you were “supposed” to build.
And yet, somewhere beneath the smiles and the small talk, something ancient is waking up inside you.
It doesn’t show up neatly labeled.
It arrives as loss. As betrayal. As dreams that once felt solid turning to dust in your hands.
It’s the sleepless nights replaying moments you can’t change.
It’s the sudden waves of grief, anger, or longing that seem to come from nowhere, yet feel like they’ve been waiting for you all along.
Most people run from this.
They hide in their routines. They smother the call with work, with noise, with whatever it takes to not feel it.
But you… you’re starting to suspect the truth.
What if the shadows you’ve been avoiding…
are not here to destroy you,
but to initiate you?
It’s a living initiation disguised as a story. A journey into sacred sites, past-life echoes, and the deepest chambers of the soul’s temple.
It follows John, a man bound to an ancient mystery he can’t ignore, as he is pulled into a sequence of trials that strip away everything he thought he knew about himself. Guided by ancient symbols, sacred geometry, and the wisdom hidden in places like Egypt’s Great Pyramid, he discovers that every shadow hides a gift… if you’re willing to walk all the way through it.
And as you read, you’ll start to feel it:
The suffering, the grief, the doubts, they’ll remind you of your own.
The ancient metaphors will begin to mirror your inner landscape.And somewhere between the lines, you may hear a whisper: This is the path you were meant to walk.
If you’ve ever faced a loss you couldn’t make sense of… If you’ve carried unhealed wounds that keep circling back… If you’ve felt both drawn to the light and haunted by the dark…
Then maybe, just maybe…
You’re not falling apart.
You’re crossing a threshold.
And this story will be your guide.
Then maybe, just maybe..You’re not falling apart. You’re crossing a threshold. And this story will be your guide.
And perhaps the most
extraordinary truth of all is this:
There’s a part of your life no one really sees.
The conversations you have in your own head.
The late-night moments when you stare at the ceiling, feeling the weight pressing down, the weight of things you can’t quite name.
It’s more than stress. More than burnout.
It’s the quiet collapse of the life you thought you were supposed to live.
Maybe it began with loss, the end of a relationship, the death of someone you love, a career or identity you thought you’d never lose.
Or maybe it came more subtly, the slow erosion of meaning.
The growing distance between you and the person you once thought you’d be.
And along with that loss came something darker.
Memories you can’t place.
Feelings that don’t fit the facts.
An unshakable sense that you’re being drawn into something, or somewhere, far older than you can explain.
It shows up as self-doubt.
As flashes of anger or grief that feel bigger than the moment you’re in.
As the gnawing sense that you’ve been here before, not just in this life, but in many lives before.
And the hardest part?
No one gave you a map for this.
Religion told you to pray it away.
Society told you to medicate it away.
Friends told you to “just get over it.”
But the shadow doesn’t vanish because you ignore it.
It waits.
It circles.
It meets you in the quiet, until you finally turn to face it.
A Story You Experience.
A Code You Decipher. A Life You Transform.
Most books you read entertain you.
Some even inspire you.
But every so often, you encounter a book that does something else entirely - it changes you.
The Initiate isn’t just a novel to read. It’s a living map you travel through, one that leads you step-by-step into the shadow, through the trials, and into the light of your own awakening.
When John Fullman’s life collapses, when loss rips the ground from under him and the silence becomes unbearable, he doesn’t find relief in comfort.
He finds an ancient code.
Not in a dusty library. Not in a guru’s sermon.
But hidden in plain sight, carved into the stones of the Great Pyramid, woven into sacred geometry, encoded in the proportions of temples built thousands of years ago.
The deeper he looks, the clearer it becomes:
The mystery schools of the ancient world didn’t simply preserve rituals, they preserved a mental technology for unlocking the human mind’s full potential.
And if John can decipher it, he believes it may be the key to ending his torment and reclaiming his life.
But this is not a safe academic pursuit.
Through a series of strange synchronicities, John is drawn to Egypt, and into a reality where the line between past and present is erased.
Standing in the shadow of the Great Pyramid, he discovers he has been here before.
Not in this life, but as the pharaoh of Egypt.
And now, the temples are calling him to finish what was left undone centuries ago….
But this is not a safe academic pursuit.
Through a series of strange synchronicities, John is drawn to Egypt, and into a reality where the line between past and present is erased.
Standing in the shadow of the Great Pyramid, he discovers he has been here before. Not in this life, but as the pharaoh of Egypt. And now, the temples are calling him to finish what was left undone centuries ago….
Inside the pyramid’s chambers, John relives the most significant moments of that past life, from the
solemn guidance of Anubis, teaching him to become the observer of his fears…
…to the crushing darkness of the sarcophagus, where every breath is a battle against panic until he
remembers: You are the sky, not the storm…. You are the silence, not the scream.
Inside the pyramid’s chambers, John relives the most significant moments of that past life, from the solemn guidance of Anubis, teaching him to become the observer of his fears……to the crushing darkness of the sarcophagus, where every breath is a battle against panic until he remembers: You are the sky, not the storm…. You are the silence, not the scream.
These trials aren’t metaphorical, they’re living experiences that forge the mind and spirit.
And through each trial, the reader not only sees the parallel to their own life, they are pulled into a gripping, life-changing story that could rival the most powerful scenes ever put to film. The stakes feel real, the emotions raw, and every revelation hits like a moment you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This isn’t just a story you read, it’s an initiation you live.
By the final pages, you’ll realize The Initiate is more than a novel.
It’s a blueprint.
A way to walk your own shadowlands, armed with the same tools and insights John discovers.
To remember who you are, why you’re here, and how the same code that shaped the temples can shape your life.
This isn’t entertainment.
It’s an initiation.
And once you’ve begun, there is no turning back.
By the final pages, you’ll realize The Initiate is more than a novel. It’s a blueprint. A way to walk your own shadowlands, armed with the same tools and insights John discovers.
To remember who you are, why you’re here, and how the same code that shaped the temples can shape your life. This isn’t entertainment. It’s an initiation. And once you’ve begun, there is no turning back.
Real Resonance
Some books you finish and forget.
Others… echo.
That’s the difference. The Initiate isn’t just entertainment, it plants truths
that surface when you least expect them.
You might even dream about it.
That’s the difference. The Initiate isn’t just entertainment, it plants truths that surface when you least expect them. You might even dream about it.
Author’s Truth
Metaphysical Weapons
The ancient Pyramids that John visits… every ritual he endures… every fragment of the Mystery School
code he deciphers… isn’t just there to create atmosphere.
They are functional tools the reader can also apply:
The Proof Is in the Pages
It’s a rare novel that can be read as a fast-paced metaphysical adventure and as a practical map for
navigating loss, shadow work, and awakening.
Readers don’t just read The Initiate.
They experience it.
And it changes them.
Ben Neil is more than a storyteller, he is a modern-day initiate.
After surviving his own Dark Night of the Soul in 2009, a period marked by devastating personal loss, Ben became obsessed with understanding the deeper architecture of the mind and soul. Over the next decade, he devoured more than 1,000 books on psychology, metaphysics, philosophy, and spiritual awakening, searching for the patterns and truths that could rebuild a shattered life.
What he discovered was the timeless wisdom of the ancient mystery schools, teachings encoded in sacred geometry, hidden in myth, and preserved in the world’s most enigmatic temples. These became the foundation of his writing.
In The Initiate, Ben weaves his own hard-earned insights with an epic, immersive narrative that carries the reader from modern-day struggles into the halls of ancient Egypt and beyond. His work blends the rigor of lived experience with the allure of archetypal storytelling, offering not just an escape, but a transformation.
Ben currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, with his family, and is working on the next book in The Initiate series. When he’s not writing, he shares guidance on sacred symbolism, conscious storytelling, and the art of navigating profound personal change.
You’ve walked this far for a reason.
Something in The Initiate has already called to you, a whisper beneath the noise, a
memory you can’t quite place, a sense that there is more to your life than the roles you play and the storms you endure.
Ben Neil has lived this path. The shadows, the loss, the nights when the world seemed hollow and hope felt unreachable. What you hold in your hands isn’t just a novel, it’s a map,
a living initiation designed to help you:
Something in The Initiate has already called to you, a whisper beneath the noise, a
memory you can’t quite place, a sense that there is more to your life than the roles you play and the storms you endure.
Ben Neil has lived this path. The shadows, the loss, the nights when the world seemed hollow and hope felt unreachable. What you hold in your hands isn’t just a novel, it’s a map,
a living initiation designed to help you:
This is more than a story you read once and forget. Readers have called it “life-changing,”
“hauntingly real,” and “impossible to put down.” Many have found themselves dreaming
about it, reflecting on its lessons for weeks.
Now it’s your turn.
Step into the golden-lit chambers of Egypt. Feel the cool stone beneath your hands. Hear the
ancient chants. Face the trial that is already waiting for you in your own life, and emerge with
the keys to your own transformation.
The initiation begins the moment you say yes.
This is more than a story you read once and forget. Readers have called it “life-changing,” “hauntingly real,” and “impossible to put down.” Many have found themselves dreaming about it, reflecting on its lessons for weeks.
Now it’s your turn.
Step into the golden-lit chambers of Egypt. Feel the cool stone beneath your hands. Hear the
ancient chants. Face the trial that is already waiting for you in your own life, and emerge with the keys to your own transformation.
The initiation begins the moment you say yes.
TESTIMONIALS
The Moment of Choice
You’ve seen the path ahead.
You’ve felt the pull of the shadow, and the promise of the light that waits beyond it.
You’ve glimpsed what The Initiate can offer you: a story that entertains, yes… but more importantly, a
mirror, a guide, and a set of keys to unlock the parts of yourself you’ve forgotten.
A Story That Stays With You
There’s a moment in The Initiate when John Fullman, standing in the golden-lit chamber of
the Great Pyramid, finds himself face-to-face with Anubis, the ancient guide who sees
through the masks of the soul. Anubis places a steady hand on John’s shoulder and speaks
truths that cut deeper than any blade:
In that moment, something shifts. The weight John has carried - loss, grief,
uncertainty, loosens its grip. He sees it: the self that exists beyond the storm, beyond
fear, beyond even death.
This is more than a scene in a novel. It’s a mirror.
Because you’ve had your own Anubis moments, times when life brought you to your
knees and demanded you remember who you really are. The loss you thought you
couldn’t survive. The uncertainty that left you questioning everything. The quiet
nights when fear tried to convince you that you were alone.
You are not alone.
The same code John uncovers, the same wisdom that carried him through
darkness, can carry you, too.
In that moment, something shifts. The weight John has carried - loss, grief, uncertainty, loosens its grip. He sees it: the self that exists beyond the storm, beyond fear, beyond even death.
This is more than a scene in a novel. It’s a mirror. Because you’ve had your own Anubis moments, times when life brought you to your knees and demanded you remember who you really are. The loss you thought you couldn’t survive. The uncertainty that left you questioning everything. The quiet nights when fear tried to convince you that you were alone.
You are not alone.
The same code John uncovers, the same wisdom that carried him through darkness, can carry you, too.
When the World Falls Apart
There’s a turning point in The Initiate when John is given the kind of instruction that doesn’t
just change a moment, it changes a life.
There’s a turning point in The Initiate when John is given the kind of instruction that doesn’t just change a moment, it changes a life.
Anubis faces him in the sacred chamber
and speaks a truth that shatters his confusion:
John doesn’t answer. He practices.
He closes his eyes and does the simplest, hardest thing: he breathes. Slowly.
Deliberately. He watches the rise and fall of his abdomen. With each exhale, the
tremor in his chest softens; the noise in his mind loosens its grip. The chamber
doesn’t change, he does.
Moments later, Anubis’ voice returns, low and
steady, giving the instruction that becomes John’s
compass in every trial that follows:
The tests ahead are not gentle. There are scenes of collapse, plague, violence, the unraveling of order,
outer chaos mirroring the inner storm most of us know too well. But John’s work is no longer to fight the
storm; it is to remember within it. To stand in the center. To witness rather than be consumed. To balance
what once felt irreconcilable.
That is the essence of the code.
That is the power of initiation.
Because the truth is, we’ve all known our own versions of the chamber: the phone call that split a life in
two, the loss that hollowed out our days, the quiet private crisis no one else could see. You can’t always
stop what’s happening. But you can remember who you are while it happens.
And when you do, when you breathe, witness, accept, and align, the shadow stops being the prison and
becomes the teacher. The same inner technology that carries John through the darkest passages is
available to you: not as theory, but as practice. Not as escape, but as wholeness.
You can’t always stop the storm.
But you can remember who you are within it.
Why You Need The Initiate Now
Logically:
This isn’t vague “inspiration” — it’s a tightly woven story
grounded in historical mystery, spiritual psychology, and
timeless tools for transformation. If you’ve ever read a book
that felt like it was speaking directly to you, you know its
value will echo far beyond the final page.
This isn’t vague “inspiration” — it’s a tightly woven story grounded in historical mystery, spiritual psychology, and timeless tools for transformation. If you’ve ever read a book that felt like it was speaking directly to you, you know its value will echo far beyond the final page.
Emotionally:
You’ll step into sacred chambers, relive ancient lifetimes, and see yourself in every trial John faces. You’ll close the book not just entertained, but changed.
Don’t Miss Out:
Every journey has a doorway. This is yours. Wait too long, and the urgency will fade, the noise of daily life will drown out the call, and the initiation will pass you by. Don’t let this be another moment you look back on and think: I wish I had started then.
The next step isn’t complicated. It’s a single choice.
A simple yes.
And once you say it, the initiation begins.
The First Chamber – The Death of the Old Self
- Arrival in the “dark night of the soul” is rarely gentle, it comes as a storm, a loss, a breakdown.
- In this space, the old identity burns away. Resistance only deepens suffering; surrender opens the door to rebirth.
- This chamber teaches that letting go of who you think you are is the only way to remember who you truly are.
The Second Chamber – The Balance Between Darkness
and Light
The Second Chamber –
The Balance Between Darkness and Light
- Here you stop running from the shadow and start listening to it.
- You confront your fears, wounds, and judgments, not to destroy them, but to integrate them.
- This is where you stand in the center of opposites, holding both light and shadow without collapsing into either, finding a living balance that is stronger than extremes.
The Third Chamber – The Merging with the Higher Self
- This is the place of remembrance, where the seeker becomes the source.
- Here, the eternal Self emerges with clarity, peace, and the quiet power of knowing you were never separate from what you were searching for.
- From this space, you create, love, and act in perfect alignment with the divine qualities already within you.
The journey John takes is the same one waiting for you.
You don’t have to wander lost in the storm. You can step into the pyramid of your own soul, right now, and walk its chambers with the same code, the same wisdom, and the same transformation.
But here’s the truth:
- If you wait, the pull of the old life will reclaim you.
- If you delay, the patterns that keep you stuck will tighten their grip.
- If you turn away, the doorway may not open again in the same way.
Your initiation is here.
You’ve already felt the call. You’ve seen that the darkness you fear may be the very teacher you’ve been seeking. And now you have the map - The Initiate - to walk it.
This isn’t just a book to read.
It’s an experience to live.
Because you are not broken. You are being reborn.
You are not lost. You are remembering.
You are not alone. You are now, and have always been, an Initiate.